THE BARRY HORNS

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Big Sous

Big Sous is the only member of the BH to play an instrument that actually has a higher cash value as scrap metal than it does as a musical instrument. On a one man mission to bring the sousaphone back into mainstream music, Big Sous can often be heard practicing basslines to popular chart hits in his bedroom late into the night. Sadly, his commitment to the instrument means he suffers from intolerable back pain that he treats by drinking white wine. He also once broke his ankle having a kickabout over the park.

London Welsh

Reggae aficionado London Welsh is so named because he left the Land of our Fathers for Brixton in the English capital after getting battered on Red Stripe and listening to Eddy Grant’s ‘Electric Avenue’ on repeat for over 72 hours. London Welsh has wasted no time in infiltrating English football circles since his move east, and has got some cracking stories about nights out on the lash with former England No. 1 Robert Green.

Beatz Workin

Beatz has lived in a variety of places, including the Pacific Northwest of the USA and the Royal County of Berkshire, England, but has never felt more at home than he does in the Welsh capital. Without the hip hop infused snare rhythms that Beatz drops all over the BH’s football anthems, the terraces at Wales’ matches just wouldn’t be the same. A keen holidaymaker, the Gower is currently at the top of the list of his favourite peninsulas.

Bass Drum Barry

The man who provides the musical backbone to the BH rhythm section, ‘BDB’ is most happy when recounting tales of slide tackling Fulham midfielder and former Wales international Simon Davies at U13s level. Enjoys long walks along Pembrokeshire beaches and dancing to K7’s 1994 chart hit ‘Come Baby Come’.

Northern Soul

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Slick

Slick is usually found telling the other Barry Horns about the glory days of his youth – not representing his local football team, but actually drinking at the Raven Inn on the Penlan Council Estate in Swansea. As difficult as it is to believe, Slick has only been playing the saxophone for 32 years, but he’s already sounding as accomplished as any semi-amateur.

The Greek

Known for coupling complicated jazz licks with a rigid physical playing style, the sax man known as The Greek once attempted to taunt Australian international Tim Cahill from the side of the pitch by playing a free jazz interpretation of the Home & Away theme tune. At the age of 8, The Greek wrote to Neville Southall requesting that Big Nev become his penpal. The Wales goalkeeper sent the young aspiring jazzer a signed photograph, but sadly no further correspondence was entered into.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E

Such is The Man From Uncle’s passion for Welsh international football, it was impossible for him to pick just one player as his favourite. His list includes Tony Millington, Mark Hughes, Gary Speed, Ron Davies, Alan Curtis and the legendary Barry Horne himself. When the football season is over, The Man From Uncle can often be found on the beaches of the Gower in a pair of shorts, utilising his secret pulling weapon – his short, fat, hairy legs.

Jay Guevara, The Revolutionary Trumpeteer

Jay is the closest thing to footballing royalty in the BH, due to his (as yet unproven) claim that Welsh legend John Charles was his Gran’s second cousin. In a previous career, Jay worked as a bartender, using his incredible memory skills to learn one significant fact about every year. When charging an attractive lady for her drinks, he would pipe up with something along the lines of “That’s 13.75 - the year of the death of the Italian poet Boccaccio, author of the Decameron.” Much to the surprise of the other Barry Horns, Jay is now happily married.

Fez

The man who drunkenly came up with the idea of launching The Barry Horns, Fez sees life in the BH as therapy for the heartbreak of Wales’ failure to qualify for USA 1994. Referring to the notorious penalty miss against Romania, Fez claims “it was like the crucifixion, but no-one was saved”. Interestingly but seemingly unrelated, it is widely known that after a few beers, Fez can speak fluent French.

Cowboyo

Like Welsh International David Rhys George Best Cotterill, Cowboyo's footballing career began at Cogan Coronation AFC. While both players showed creative flair and pace down the right hand side, Cowboyo swapped crosses for crotchets when he took up the trumpet. A competitive line dancer, this Stetson-flaunting ladies’ man won the Cardiff & The Vale Male Solo Line Dance Championship (Under 65s Division) in 2008, 2009 and 2011.